and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
