Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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