Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
