i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
