If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I've blown a few things in my day
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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