Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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