Me too!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
