She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
