just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize