This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
