oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
