I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
