party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
