hell yes lets make some ravioli
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
