Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
