someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
