Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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