Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize