i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
