Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
