Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
