Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
