it was like eating out sand paper
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
