Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
