I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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