Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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