then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
