I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
