forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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