So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
tell me about the eggs
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
