You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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