phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
