Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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