drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
