why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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