Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
even my farts smell like vagina
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
