Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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