This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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