just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
