i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
