i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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