it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
