im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize