I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
