I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
