have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He felt like a one man threesome
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
