I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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