why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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