Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
