You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
