Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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