Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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