omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
