Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
