Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
