Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
