I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
