No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
