so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you will always have a special place in my vag
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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