im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
