That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
