You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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